Today in Gaming News: April 23, 2008

What can I say? It’s admittedly a very slow week. That large sucking sound you hear is millions of gamers inhaling so that they may hold their breath exactly five days until GTA IV drops.

Face it, even if you couldn’t give a fat fig about the title, anyone in the industry knows it’s pointless to let details about any other game slip out, lest it be drowned in a veritable sea of Rockstar-dom.

Here’s a few nuggests we found in today’s news, however, that merit a little attention:

• If you spend any time on the interwebs at all, you should be familiar with that Will Ferrell’s YouTube short, The Landlord (where that cute baby bitches out Ferrell). The little collaboration between Ferrell and other funny people responsible for this and other gems, Funny or Die, announced today it’s launching into the video-game business with a series of games “(Insert word here) or Die.” You know, like “Bathe or Die” or “Podcast or Die.” My hopes are on for the game about living at home. It’s called “Clean Your Room, Comb Your Hair and Get a Job or Die.”
• Criterion Games just announced that Burnout Paradise will contain motorcycles and night driving (two great things that go great together) “sometime this August.” Can I get a woot? I SAID CAN I GET A WOOT!
• Looking forward to standing out all night waiting for GTA IV at your local Best Buy? You best check to see which stores are open. Here’s Best Buy’s list of midnight openings for the game.
• A leaked video of the what claimed to be the real GTA IV intro was posted for a few hours on the interwebs earlier today. Hope you saw it, because it’s gone. Kinda proof it was real.
• The Playstation 3 GTA IV Bundle Pack for Europe was officially confirmed. Here’s the details, you lucky blokes.
• However, while lucky enough to have the bundle pack at your fingertips, it sucks to be you when it comes to your bureaucrats. The British Board of Film Classification has declared that Metal Gear Solid 4 features (WARNING!! POTENTIAL SLIGHT SPOILER) “one use of strong language and references to suicide and an implied child rape.” Um, yeah. We’re scratching our head, too.
• For those of you patiently awaiting Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures, developer Funcom announced today what it’s going to cost you to play the MMO. Game: $59.99. Monthly subscription: $14.99 (or 12.99 Euros). Pretending your Arnold Schwarzenegger: Priceless.
• Despite rumors to the otherwise, NFL Head Coach 09 will indeed be sold as a standalone game. My gawd, that certainly takes a load off my mind.
• And finally, Yahtzee and his brilliant Zero Punctuation series continues with more insight and hilarity. Today’s review: Super Smach Brothers Brawl. See below.

If you see any more news we missed, don’t hesitate to drop us a line at GameHounds@Gmail.com.