In: Articles by Dave "Holy Goalie" Gardner3 Sep 2010
But the other day I was cruising through my Netflix queue and I found that I had about six or seven B zombie movies. I started to watch a couple of them and found myself instantly deleting them from my queue. They were all the same. There were so bad. Loads of extras in raggedy clothing covered in blood pretending to eat the living people. It was almost like a contest to see which one could be the goriest, without caring about any storyline or plot. I’ve seen porno movies with better plots. In fact, the chances are better at me getting through an entire porno movie than most of the zombie movies in my queue.
For the first time I was wishing I had Kinect so I could wave my hand and delete them all as fast as I could.
As bad as the movies are with zombies so are some of the video games. I understand that zombies are the ultimate video-game foe especially when it comes to political correctness or even your conscience. Zombies are already dead, so there is no guilt in killing something that’s already dead. They serve no purpose, they can’t be rehabilitated or saved, and you are actually doing them a favor by putting them out of their misery killing them once and for all.
But I feel as though the zombies of today, much like aliens from outer space in the 50s, have seen much better days. Zombie movies and videogames alike were always a lot of fun, but with the flood of zombie crap that is coming down our streams, we need to sift and pan really hard to find that one golden nugget.
Everywhere you turn there is a new game or movie featuring the Z men. Luckily, most we never play or see. I’m not saying there is still not the occasional decent game or tolerable movie, but sometimes you never get to the wheat because of all the chaff you have to suffer through.
Yes, zombies make easy targets in video games and make for great low-budget films, but I feel the time has come to bury the undead once and for all. (Well, maybe after the new Resident Evil movie.)
It’s time to find a new villain that’s going to destroy humanity and civilization as we know it. Suggestions?